That iPad I've Been Wanting

When I was being prepped for surgery, my grandmother visited. She saw me gaunt, pale, and in the middle of a blood transfusion. She was used to seeing me reading, thinking, and seizing life. She didn't know what to think, let alone what to say to me. So she promised me an iPad when I got out of the hospital. I used to be a gadget addict. So when someone promised me another one, especially in my particular condition, I was overjoyed. My grandma felt comfort in seeing me smile. She did a mitzva. Everyone wins.

Not exactly. I hung on her word when she promised me one. Weeks and weeks passed by. No iPad. She mentioned getting one several times on the phone and several more on the rare occasion that I would see her. So I assumed that the iPad was in the mail, and that it would arrive any day. I still have an iPad. Only it's invisible.

I should be angry. She reneged on a deal. And for many months, I was. Not necessarily because I still don't have an iPad, but she used me to make herself seem generous, when I was too weak, both mentally and physically, to see through her efforts. However, I'm not angry anymore. The way she acted was not her fault. It's an example of how we're conditioned in society.

When we're little, how do we express the desire for happiness? It's a toy or a cookie. Little kids often see happiness more as pleasure-a short term state. Which is normal. It's the way we propel this mentality that isn't. We're rewarded when we get good grades, or when we do our chores by things. We get that toy we've been eyeing. We're given a Hershey bar.

So, as a result, we grow up, confusing happiness with pleasure. Happiness is an iPhone or a piece of chocolate cake. As a result, we go into debt and we become overweight. As we buy more and eat more, we are prevented from discovering why we are unhappy. Our unhappiness is good for business; Apple makes record profits and Hershey gets more airtime.

Even when we see the negative effects of the way we live, we still can't fix our situation because we are conditioned to think in short term solutions. What will make me happy right now? The result is the emergence of fad diets and credit card scams. We start out with the right intentions. But because we don't think ahead, our attempts to solve our problems can do more harm than good.

The answer is to reconsider what we use as a coping mechanism. It isn't an easy solution. This requires learning how to substitute short-term thinking for long-term thinking. And it requires serious thought. What are the things that are making you unhappy and how do we change it? Oftentimes, we will find out that what we need to make us happy costs less (and it doesn't require a gym membership).

That doesn't mean that we need to eliminate materialism from our lives altogether. Everything must exist in moderation. If Grandma showed up at my doorstep with an iPad, I would take it. Alternately, I still love cheesecake. However, these things should come second, after we have found what makes us happy. If you still want that Android? Carry on.